🌸 Will you be my Valentine...? 🌸

Haruka, Akari and I were sitting in one of the onsen inside of the ryokan and were talking. Right now it was just the three of us.
“And? Have you already thought about a valentine’s gift?,” Akari asked now while looking at Haruka and me. I answered that with a grin on my face: “Of course, what did you think?~ I’m sure Haru already has an idea too, right?~” With a big grin on my face I looked to the left at the pink-haired, who immediately blushed. “H-huh?? W-what’s that supposed to mean?” she stammered, looking to the side embarrassedly. “M-... maybe…” “So yes~” I stated confidently, then turned to Akari, who was sitting to my right. “And what about you, Akari?” “Me? I’m still thinking about it… but I’d love to make something for Derio.” I still had a grin on my face while I was looking at the vampire. “Just don’t let Yuyu hear this, or he’ll freak out.” “Ha-ha, don’t remind me,” Akari replied with an annoyed sigh. Haruka, whose blush was now slowly fading, turned to us and looked slightly surprised at Akari. “Does he still don’t like him?” “I think he never will… But I don’t care.”

The blonde leaned back a little before something seemed to come up her mind. “But Mari, tell me… for whom do you want to prepare something?” the vampire now wanted to know and looked at me curiously. In all fairness, I couldn’t blame her for being curious. “It’s a secret~” “Oh come on, tell us! There’s obviously someone you like, right? Tell us!” “Exactly, tell us,” Haruka now demanded as well, looking at me. “Not going to happen, sorry~,” I replied with a grind on my lips, and I had no intention of telling them.

For a little while they still tried to convince me, but I didn't give in. My lips stayed sealed. The both of them seemed a little disappointed, knowing that I hadn't really had serious relationships yet. Most of the time it were one-night stands and for most people it probably seemed as if I wasn't interested in a long-term relationship. But there actually is someone that I like. However this person wouldn't most likely be interested in me in a romantic way, especially since they're already happily taken. So I wouldn't really have a chance, which is why I again and again tried to get over them. Without success. Every time I saw them, it was as if I fell in love again. Knowing that I would never have a chance. And this thought hurts a lot. Like stabs right into the heart. Maybe one day I could get over it and find someone else. Maybe it would also help me to tell this person finally the truth. I’ve never told anyone about this before. Only Shin and Nanami knew about it. I think they feel sorry for me, because they know as well as I do that it would never work out between us. At least not anymore. After all, I didn’t want to destroy a relationship or hurt someone who is so important to me. And I didn’t want to risk our friendship either. So I live with this little secret that only two other people know about.

 

Finally, we left the onsen and said goodbye to each other, since both still had things to do. And I had to take care of a few things as well. Especially at the ryokan. And I’d rather avoid getting in trouble with Shin or Nanami. So I quickly got to work.
In the evening, I fell into the bed exhausted and lay there for a while, staring at the ceiling. Then I remembered my conversation with Akari and Haru. A Valentine’s Day gift… I didn’t know exactly what to prepare yet. Maybe classic homemade chocolate would be the best choice. I’m not incredibly good at baking and cooking, but I’m not a hopeless case either. Maybe I could also write a short letter with a confession, in case I don’t dare to say it. That would be a bit cowardly, but… better than nothing, right? But I would take care of that second. First, I would sleep and take care of the chocolate tomorrow. Quite quickly I fell asleep and sank into the sweet land of dreams.

 

When I woke up the next morning, way earlier than usual, I was highly motivated to make chocolate myself. It couldn't be that difficult, could it? Quickly I got ready before heading to the kitchen. There I met my brother, who was visibly surprised to see me so early in the morning. “Are you sick or why are you up that early? And in the kitchen at that?” he asked amusedly and I grinned back at him. “Ha-ha, very funny, dear brother,” I said and tapped something on my phone to find a recipe and then see if we have everything needed. “I want to make chocolate,” I explained as I took a few things out of the cupboard and placed them on the countertop. “Chocolate…?” “Yes. For Valentine’s Day,” I confirmed with a determined smile and then glanzed briefly at Shin, who was now becoming a little quieter. “For…= Are you sure you want to do that?” he asked, almost a bit concerned, and now I too fell silent for a moment. “I… just want to finally try to get over it. Even though I know it’s going to hurt…” I muttered, looking down at the floor before I heard my brother approaching. And before I knew it, he took me in his arms. “You know that Nanami and I are always here for you, okay?” “Pff, of course I know that~,” I said, a grin returning on my lips again as I tried to hide my sadness and push him away from me. For now, I didn’t want to think too much about what was still ahead of me. “Alright, I still need a few things, so I’m gonna go shopping. See you later!” And with that, I was gone.

 

There wasn’t much missing, so I just bought what we didn’t have at home. Mainly decorations for the chocolate. With my little shopping haul, I made my way back home and went straight to the kitchen, where I immediately started to preparing the chocolate. Which… didn’t go so well at first. It took me a few tries before I got a satisfying result. Luckily, I had a mold so the chocolate didn’t look too terrible. And with the decorations, the result was actually quite impressive. “And done~,” I said contentedly and wiped some chocolate off my cheek. The kitchen might have looked a liiittle chaotic now, but I cleaned up right away before I end up not being allowed to enter this room anymore. Now the only thing missing was… the letter. But I decided to take care of that later. Especially since I still had a few appointments and had to work.

 

More and more days passed by, Valentine’s Day was slowly getting closer, and I knew I couldn’t delay writing the letter much longer. So, in the afternoon, I sat down at my desk with some sheets of paper and picked up a pen. But how do you start something like that? I stared at the blank paper in front of me, not quite sure how to begin. After at least half an hour had passed, I just started writing down a few things, but somehow it never sounded right. One piece after another was crumpled up and ended up on the floor or the desk. “Urgh… why is this so hard?” I sighed in annoyance and leaned back, before my gaze wandered out the window. For a moment, I just looked outside. “... Okay, I can do this!” Snd with that, I turned to the next blank sheet of paper on my desk, which was now covered in crumpled paper, just like the floor.

 

__________________________________________________________________

 

I’m not really good when it comes to writing something like this. So please forgive me if this letter isn’t the best. But there is something that I’ve been wanting to tell you for a long time…

 

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Okay, I think I’ve got it!, I tought, looking at my “work” with some satisfaction, despite a few tears in my eyes. Now I just had to wait until Valentine’s Day to hand everything over.

Eventually, the day arrived sooner than expected and today was the day. I became increasingly nervous and, admittedly, anxious about what would happen today. Was it really the right decision? However, I didn’t want to back out now…

Especially on days like today, the ryokan was very busy, and some of my friends also had decided to spend Valentine’s Day here. Due to the large number of guests, I had to work first. But at least I was allowed to finish work early because Nanami and Shin knew what I was planning to do. The work distracted me for a while, and I was able to calm down a little, at least for a short time. I was walking through the corridors when I ran into Akari and Derio. “Hey, you two, happy Valentine’s Day. I hope you’re having a good time~,” I said with my usual grin. “Yes, we are, thank you,” said Derio with a smile, and Akari nodded too. “We wanted to go back to the garden later and are looking forward to the stage programm.” “You won’t regret it, it’ll be great!” I said excitedly. “See you later, I’ll meet you there, okay?” And with that, I sad goodbye to the couple before continuing with my work. I glanced back briefly and watched them walk away. They seem really happy, I thought with a smile. 

 

Quickly a few hours passed and my shift was finally over for the day. I promptly changed my clothes and picked up the chocolate and the letter from my room before setting off. Now I could feel my heart beating faster and faster in my chest. Okay, stay calm, Mari, you can do this, I told myself. You can do this. At worst you’ll just hand over the things and the letter would do the rest, I thought. 

Nervously, I walked through the corridors of the ryokan and past the reception desk, from where I actually wanted to go to the rooms. However, Nanami saw me there, as she was talking to her best friend Hina. Apparently, she was also here on a visit. “Hey, Mari! In the garden. It’s pretty empty there right now,” she said, and I was startled out of my thoughts and looked at her briefly, the nervousness written all over my face. “Thanks…” I replied and smiled nervously before heading towards the garden. For a moment I heard the two of them talking. “Is everything okay with her?” Hina asked my cousin, somewhat concerned. “She… wants to try to come to an end with something today,” she said. I didn’t listen any further, especially since I was too far away.

 

I slowly made my way to the garden, and by now my heart was beating so loudly that I feared others would hear it too. When I arrived at the garden, I looked around for a moment. It was actually quite empty, with only a few couples  scattered around. Among them Haruka with her husband Akaya, Akari and Derio, who had arrived in the meantime, as well as Yuito with his husband. When I saw the last couple, I couldn’t help but smirk inwardly. I knew Yuito was probably not thrilled that his sister was here with Derio. Unfortunately, this feeling didn’t last long, and the nervousness and my situation caught up with me again. After finding who I was looking for, I slowly walked across the lawn and had to pull myself together so I wouldn’t back out now. I didn’t have to go too far, and now I was only a few meters away. But then I stopped when I heard a voice that was all too familiar to me speaking to their partner. “I um… made something for you. Since you don’t like sweets, I decided against chocolate and made this instead,” the person said, handing their partner a small package. Seeing this hurt my soul. What was I doing here? Before I could move to quietly slip away, however, I was noticed. I looked into a face that was now turning red and golden eyes that now met mine. “M-mari??”, she said, surprised, and apparently embarrassed that I had witnessed the whole thing. “I-... is something wrong?” asked the pink-haired girl sitting just a few meters away from me. For a moment, I was frozen in place before I managed to collect myself and quickly put on a smile. “I, um, sorry… I didn’t mean to disturb you. I’ll come back later!” I said quickly, hiding the chocolate and the letter behind my back, before turning around with tears in my eyes and hurrying inside, disappearing into my room straight away. Crying, I lay on my bed. “What was I thinking? I’m such an idiot…” I sobbed and hid under the blanket. It was such a stupid idea to even try it. I should’ve just tried to get over her and move on without saying anything. A few moments later, there was a knock on my door. “Mari…?” I heard Nanami’s voice, but I didn’t answer. Shortly after, I heard the door open and then close again, followed by footsteps coming toward me. Nanami sat down on my bed and stroked my head. Before she could say anything, I pressed myself against her and cried bitterly.

 

What I didn’t know at the time was that I’d lost the letter on my way to my room and that it had now been found and opened. By the person to whom it was addressed.

 

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Dear Haru,

 

I’m not really good when it comes to writing something like this. So please forgive me if this letter isn’t the best. But there is something that I’ve been wanting to tell you for a long time. Way too long, honestly. It’s just that I didn’t know how or when the right time would be. But I guess there’s no such thing as the “right time”. So I’m just going to write this letter now.

 

Already as a child and later in school, I always admired you. You’ve always been an important friend to me and still are. Maybe that’s why I was too scared to say anything. Because I don’t wanna lose you as a friend. But I also know that it’s important to finally be honest.

 

I love you. I love you more than anything else in the world. And I know that I’ll never have a chance. That I never had. I would never want to ruin your relationship or hurt you in any way, even though it hurts to know that I’m never gonna be yours and you never mine. Please don’t be worried about me or feel bad. It’s something I have to learn to deal with myself. And I’m sure that it will get easier eventually and that the day will come when I’ll finally find someone I can be happy with as well. 

 

I hope this doesn’t change too much between us and that we can still be friends. Because apart from you now knowing now, nothing else has changed, right? I’m… still me. But if you want some distance, I’ll accept that too, of course. 

 

Whatever happens, I just want you to be happy.

 

Love,

Mari ❤

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Without saying a word, the pink-haired angel held the letter that was meant to her in her hands. She never would’ve thought that Mariko felt that way. “Mari…” she whispered, looking inside, unsure of what to do next…

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Suddenly, I was startled awake in my bed and had to realize what was going on. It was the middle of the night and the moon was shining a little into my room. “The letter!!” The next moment, I jumped up, almost stumbled, and then ran straight to my desk. And there it was, still sealed in the envelope next to the chocolate. Unsure how I should feel, I sank to the floor. It was… just a dream. Valentine’s Day is tomorrow.

 

I sat on the floor for quite a while, trying to process what I had just dreamed. Would it happen like that? Would I back out in the end and then something like that would happen? I lose the letter and she finds it by chance? That would be terrible…

Sighing, I leaned back so that I was now lying flat on the floor, looking out of the window at the moon. “The moon is beautiful, isn’t it…?*¹” I murmured to myself and tears came to my eyes. Maybe it would be better not to give her the things and just try to put it behind me. Without her ever finding out. 

 

Finally, I got up and lay back down in my bed, still unsure of what to do. Maybe… I would leave it alone and keep this a secret to myself forever…

OC Info:
Mariko Kuroha, Haruka Mochizuki, Akari Takahashi, Shin Kuroha, Nanami Kuroha, Yuito Takahashi & Derio Viancello by Haruka Yurina
Akaya & Shaira by RhiaMonium Art

*¹ In Japanese 月が綺麗ですね (Tsuki ga kirei desu ne) literally translates to “The moon is beautiful, isn’t it?”, but it also means “I love you”.